My Concerns Pre-Surgery
I feel like it's a unique and subtle form of mental torture to have so many months to anticipate having such an invasive surgery on your face. These months are when "ignorance is bliss" would come in handy, but I know I'll be glad I researched what to expect beforehand instead of after surgery at 2 AM when I'm swollen-faced, on pain pills, and convinced I might be dying.
I've been keeping a running list on my phone of anything and everything I can think of that makes me worry about the surgery. When I see the surgeon again in about a month, I hope to be able to talk through most of the items below, at least the ones that keep me awake at night. Here are my top concerns:
1. How long will it take me to be able to go about life normally again? --- This is probably my immediate top worry. Most blogs I've come across are written by people who are a bit younger than me and don't have kids. Because my kids are so young (6, 4, and 1), there's a lot of bending and lifting that's needed to care for them, especially the youngest since she's still in diapers and in a crib. I'm anxious to know when I'll have the energy and capability to not need help with them.
2. Is it possible to relapse after surgery if I'm unable to correct my swallowing and tongue positioning? --- I briefly discussed this with my surgeon at our first consultation, and he waved it off as if it should be no problem. My orthodontist has mentioned that as long as the surgeon is extremely good at what they do and positions everything correctly, you shouldn't relapse. I hope that's true because my surgeon is supposed to be one of the best, if not the best, in the state, so I know I'm in good hands. I still can't help but be a little anxious about this one though - I'm more than willing to go through this once, but I'd be pretty devastated if I relapsed and needed to go through this again!
3. How can I be sure not to lose too much weight? --- Okay, I know some people might roll their eyes at this one. There's several reasons why this one makes me worry. I've always had a very thin frame, which is no problem at all except when your mouth is latched shut for an extended period of time. I also can't do much dairy at all, which stinks because dairy makes liquid calories so much easier to take in. I'll definitely be doing research on all kinds of high-calorie, dairy-free liquids I can plan to have on hand. The last reason for my worry here is I have an incredibly weak stomach - I was sick for all 9 months of my last 2 pregnancies and will feel nauseous if someone even mentions something off-putting. I know feeling nauseous and throwing up is super common at the beginning - I'm just hoping that it doesn't stick around for too long!
4. Will I be able to talk to/communicate with my kids? --- I feel like a lot of my worry really does revolve around my kids. Only my 6 year old can read, so I'm very hopeful that I'll be one of the lucky ones that can talk semi-clear early on. My oldest overheard me talking to my mom on the phone about the surgery and bawled her eyes out for awhile about it. I'd already told her about the surgery and what to expect, but I think overhearing my conversation made her really realize that it's not going to be an easy process. It definitely hurts my mama heart to see her be upset about it, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to interact with them in a way that makes it feel a little more normal for them.
5. Will I look different? --- Like I mentioned in a previous post, my appearance is more of an afterthought in this whole process since pain relief is my end goal. However, after seeing so many before and after pics, it makes me wonder if I'll see any dramatic change in my appearance. It does seem that most people who see a significant change seem to really like the alteration once they get used to it. I've just spent 31 years seeing one face in the mirror - it feels kind of weird to think about getting used to a new face, even if I'm the only one who notices the differences.
Above all of these, there's always the looming question: Will this help bring any pain relief? I can honestly say I don't feel very worried about this at the moment (might change when the surgery is very close). I understand that there's no guarantees and that everyone's results are unique. My surgeon gives me about a 70% chance of surgery bringing some level of pain relief, which right now I feel like are pretty good odds. This surgery is something both my husband and I have thought about for years, and I have total peace about moving forward with it.
I'll try and be sure to come back and update this post with how these concerns worked themselves out!
I've been keeping a running list on my phone of anything and everything I can think of that makes me worry about the surgery. When I see the surgeon again in about a month, I hope to be able to talk through most of the items below, at least the ones that keep me awake at night. Here are my top concerns:
1. How long will it take me to be able to go about life normally again? --- This is probably my immediate top worry. Most blogs I've come across are written by people who are a bit younger than me and don't have kids. Because my kids are so young (6, 4, and 1), there's a lot of bending and lifting that's needed to care for them, especially the youngest since she's still in diapers and in a crib. I'm anxious to know when I'll have the energy and capability to not need help with them.
2. Is it possible to relapse after surgery if I'm unable to correct my swallowing and tongue positioning? --- I briefly discussed this with my surgeon at our first consultation, and he waved it off as if it should be no problem. My orthodontist has mentioned that as long as the surgeon is extremely good at what they do and positions everything correctly, you shouldn't relapse. I hope that's true because my surgeon is supposed to be one of the best, if not the best, in the state, so I know I'm in good hands. I still can't help but be a little anxious about this one though - I'm more than willing to go through this once, but I'd be pretty devastated if I relapsed and needed to go through this again!
3. How can I be sure not to lose too much weight? --- Okay, I know some people might roll their eyes at this one. There's several reasons why this one makes me worry. I've always had a very thin frame, which is no problem at all except when your mouth is latched shut for an extended period of time. I also can't do much dairy at all, which stinks because dairy makes liquid calories so much easier to take in. I'll definitely be doing research on all kinds of high-calorie, dairy-free liquids I can plan to have on hand. The last reason for my worry here is I have an incredibly weak stomach - I was sick for all 9 months of my last 2 pregnancies and will feel nauseous if someone even mentions something off-putting. I know feeling nauseous and throwing up is super common at the beginning - I'm just hoping that it doesn't stick around for too long!
4. Will I be able to talk to/communicate with my kids? --- I feel like a lot of my worry really does revolve around my kids. Only my 6 year old can read, so I'm very hopeful that I'll be one of the lucky ones that can talk semi-clear early on. My oldest overheard me talking to my mom on the phone about the surgery and bawled her eyes out for awhile about it. I'd already told her about the surgery and what to expect, but I think overhearing my conversation made her really realize that it's not going to be an easy process. It definitely hurts my mama heart to see her be upset about it, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to interact with them in a way that makes it feel a little more normal for them.
5. Will I look different? --- Like I mentioned in a previous post, my appearance is more of an afterthought in this whole process since pain relief is my end goal. However, after seeing so many before and after pics, it makes me wonder if I'll see any dramatic change in my appearance. It does seem that most people who see a significant change seem to really like the alteration once they get used to it. I've just spent 31 years seeing one face in the mirror - it feels kind of weird to think about getting used to a new face, even if I'm the only one who notices the differences.
Above all of these, there's always the looming question: Will this help bring any pain relief? I can honestly say I don't feel very worried about this at the moment (might change when the surgery is very close). I understand that there's no guarantees and that everyone's results are unique. My surgeon gives me about a 70% chance of surgery bringing some level of pain relief, which right now I feel like are pretty good odds. This surgery is something both my husband and I have thought about for years, and I have total peace about moving forward with it.
I'll try and be sure to come back and update this post with how these concerns worked themselves out!
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